Ten Non-traditional Traditions: A Christmas Post

A Christmas Post      

It's December here on Shaffners' Mountain.
The wrapping of the grandgirls' presents was done months ago
and they were shipped to the other side of the world.
We will FaceTime the unwrapping,
thankful for this aspect of technology.
With no wrapping duties,
we thought we'd use the extra time
to share ten non-traditional ways that we celebrate Christmas:


1. Write the year's highlights on an ornament.

Each year,
Den plays John Denver's Christmas album
and gives advice from the couch
while I hang lights and ornaments.
This process can take a long time,
as for years we have judged an ornament's worth
by the ability to write on it with a fine-tipped Sharpie marker.
The year's events are recorded on that year's ornament.
We reread the family highlights on the ornaments
on tree decorating night...
births,
first wiggly teeth,
two-wheelers conquered,
dogs lost,
roles in plays,
college acceptances,
marriages...
The cycle starts again with grandchildren.
The older we get,
the longer it takes
as the ornament number increases.
The print also gets smaller.

1989- Paul loses his first tooth, Luke dresses himself, Den gets chiggers, Pap has a bypass

1995- Luke stars as the Big Bad Wolf, Paul gets his first deer, Sue sings with Red Grammer

2001- Luke babysits ferrets and gets Heeleys, Paul goes to the Dominican Republic alone, Den takes sabbatical to study C.S. Lewis

2. Write a Christmas newsletter, then illustrate it.
Our newsletter is usually started during Thanksgiving break.
We list memories that we are thankful for,
think of unique experiences that each family member has had,
try to present them in a semi-organized way,
then draw small illustrations.
Tech-savvy people would add photographs,
but I feel that
1. I am not tech savvy.
2. people may be impressed with my tiny cartoon drawings, or
3. people will feel much better about their own drawing skills after seeing mine.
It's similar to hearing Pierce Brosnan sing in Mamma Mia!
You appreciate his guts
and feel better about your own voice at the same time.
It's a win-win situation.

An alphabetical recap of our western RV tour

3. Decorate your vehicle for Christmas.
When December begins,
Den decorates our vehicles.
The jeep has a wreath on the grill,
magnetic lights on the sides,
and sports the added bonus
of a souvenir plate
from our trip to North Pole, Alaska.
"Got reindeer?"

Holly jolly jeeping

4. Wear a Christmas hat.
During December,
I wear a black fedora covered with Christmas pins
gathered year round from thrift stores.
Many people give sideways glances,
but the ones that make a comment
get their choice of a pin
and a blessing, like
"May your new year be blessed with health
and safety
and adventure
and peace
and may you be aware of the presence of God."
Warning:
Wearing so much metal on a hat
can get you moved
to the potential trouble maker line
at the United Nations.

Which pin would you pick?

5. Host a wreath-making party.
For the last two years,
we have provided assorted fresh greens and ribbons
and invited friends to bring wreath forms and wire
to assemble their own wreaths.
Needle-proof gloves are highly recommended.

Watch Sue's wreath making video here.

Wreath-making-- a great way to spend the first Sunday in December

6. Visit your local children's library.
Just like Christmas is not just for kids,
neither are children's books.
Visit your local library
and read children's books to your grownup self.
May we recommend
Peter Spier's Christmas! by Peter Spier,
The Biggest, Best Snowman by Margery Cuyler,
and especially How Little Porcupine Played Christmas by Joseph Slate.
Its phrase "You are the light of my life"
has become a part of the family.
The pseudo-children's book
Father Christmas: The Truth by Gregoire Solotareff
is also a slightly bizarre delight.
For Sue, anyway.

ostrich: in Africa, where it is far too hot for reindeer, Father Christmas has to ride an ostrich. He always feels rather nervous about it. So does the ostrich.

plate: all the elves are envious of Father Christmas's plate. Theirs are much smaller.

7. Go to a children's program...
even if you don't know any of the kids.
Not feeling the season yet?
Go to a children's Christmas presentation,
the local theater's kid production of Elf
or How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Our elementary school program this year had wonderful harmonies
and recognizable band numbers
and a funny song about ugly Christmas sweaters
and a break-dancing Rudolph.
You don't have to be a relative to attend school performances,
you just sign in for security purposes.
Friends come to see my first graders put on A Christmas Carol every year;
"Bah! Humbug!"
and "God bless us, every one!"
coming from small smiles with missing teeth
are especially memorable.
One of my favorite characters was a belligerent Ghost of Christmas Past--
"Ebenezer! Think about what you done!"
And almost any church's nativity play has energetic shepherds
and wise men
and angels
to tell the story of the incarnation
when God became human,
became a child with burps
and tears
and coughs.
Take your tissues.

Tiny Tim with tiny cane. God bless us, every one!

8. Spend a dollar to dress festively.
When you venture out,
looking festive is recommended.
This can be accomplished
by first making a trip to the dollar store
to buy plastic ornaments to attach to your earrings
or shoes
or coat zipper
and plastic holly to tuck behind your ear.
(Real holly hurts when you wear it. Trust me.)
Use Will Hillenbrand's illustrations
in The Biggest Best Snowman
as your inspiration.
You may want to keep in mind our son's advice, though:
There is a fine line between wacky and tacky.

Love Big Sarah's style

Plastic bulbs and tiny lights

Plastic bulbs that sway when you walk. Better than your neck swaying

Just about anything can be added to hoop earrings

9. Stay home and watch a Christmas show.
Don't want to venture out?
Eat some Christmas cookies
and watch The Snowman
or A Charlie Brown Christmas.
"Ah," you think,
"That is very traditional."
But did you ever catch Linus's drop-the-blanket moment?
We just became aware of it last year.
Linus recites Luke's Christmas passage
and he drops his blanket,
his well-loved security,
when he quotes "Fear not."
Watch it here.

(Don't eat my cookies. Had a little possum trouble this year.
Read that story here.)

"Fear not..."

10. Read the Christmas story outdoors.
The same Milky Way
and Pleiades
and Orion
that sparkle on crisp, clear nights
served as the backdrop
for angel song and the proclamation
"Don't be afraid!
I bring you good news of great joy for everyone!
The Saviour--
yes, the Messiah, the Lord--
has been born tonight in Bethlehem,
the city of David."
Bundle up
and read Luke 2:1-20 under the ancient skies.
Raise your eyes
and your voice
to the Lord of Heaven and Earth.
Immanuel.
Our GOD is with us,
and if GOD is with us,
who can be against us?

Amen.

To hear Michael Card sing "Immanuel"
click here. 

Thoughts on the Nativity (Christmas Thoughts 2013, reposted from Facebook)

'Tis the season for nativity sets.
Ours is on a desk in the parlor,
a souvenir of Israel carved from olive wood.
It reminds us why this season is called Christmas.
"Christ mass."
Our nativity set has the usual cast of characters...
Camels.
I like camels.
Growly stomachs.
Attitude.
Camels spit for fun
or for disdain
or maybe because there was a gross bug at the last oasis.

I like wise men.
Usually three
unless I hide one
or a wise penguin gets added to the entourage for a quartet.
Scripture says there were three gifts,
not necessarily three wise men.
The wise men were curious and they did something about it.
The wise men were also rebels.
King Herod told them to come back
and they said, "You're not the boss of me!"
But not to his face.
After all, they WERE wise men.

I like shepherds.
They took care of goofy little lambs
and took turns watching for lions
while others slept around the fire.
They knew the stars without using Google Sky.
I like angels, too,
though not lovely plastic lady angels.
In scripture
the angel was startling enough to terrify the shepherds.
(Shepherds in our children's pageant at church
get to scream when the angel appears.)
Those little baby cherub angels
are not Ezekiel's angels
with many wings and eyes
who announce
"Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty.
The whole earth is full of His glory!"

Perhaps Joseph is the least noticed,
but I like Joseph.
He held Mary's hand while she made strange noises.
It's never easy to watch someone you love suffer.
...and though the conception may have been immaculate,
the birth was probably not.
Thank you, Joseph,
for your janitorial abilities
and for being a role model for step fathers everywhere.

Nativity Mary.
She's usually dressed in blue and kneeling in prayer.
She doesn't look tired enough.
She just gave birth to her first child
and now there's company coming.
She really just wants to hold the baby and sleep.

But Baby Jesus makes me somewhat uncomfortable.
He is not what he seems.
His body is covered in swaddling clothes
and diapers
and drool,
but his eyes have overseen the creation of every species on earth.
His ears have heard the morning stars sing together.
His lips have spoken thunder.
His nostrils have smelled angel fire.
His hands and feet know what is coming in 33 years.
His tiny body
and this tiny planet
are holding the physical and metaphysical of the universe.
Voluntarily.
When we look into those baby eyes,
they look back into the hiding places in our memories,
into our past
and our future,
and those eyes love us, 
every one.
Those eyes show the love that chained Almighty God
to a human body for a short lifetime.
For me.
For you.

May thoughts of the nativity be with you this Christmas season.

Many blessings,
Denny and Sue



Those eyes show the love that chained Almighty God
to a human body for a short lifetime.
For me.
For you.

May thoughts of the nativity be with you this Christmas season.

Many blessings,
Denny and Sue