Sunday, May 21, 2017

Twelve More Drives


Twelve more days of school.
Twelve more drives to Penfield Elementary,
then it will close its doors to students.
Forever.
I will miss the elk tracks in the ballfield,
the view of the huge chestnut barn,
the rock dams the kids and I built in Wilson Run,
the walk to the damp hillside spring when learning "ing" words,
the hundreds of thousands of violets,
the bent apple tree blossoming each May,
the huge classrooms,
and the closeness of friends,
both figuratively and literally.

I will also miss the drive.
Penfield is not as close as my previous schools--
sixteen miles as opposed to eleven--
but there are few buildings between home and school,
a lovely stretch to pray
and watch the seasons change.

When the jeep turns left onto route 322 each morning
I pass rock people scattered along both sides of the highway,
sitting,
standing,
balancing,
appropriate for the mountain called "Rockton".

Near the entrance to Spruce Hill Road
On the north side of 322
On the western hillside of 322
Near the ash dump on 322
East side of 153, near junction with 322

East side of 153




Upper DuBec-153 junction

I pass places where we have rattlesnake memories.
One is near the Greenwood Road.
When Paul and Luke were preschoolers,
we spotted a rattler on the roadside.
I remember my arms being stretched in opposite directions
as one boy pulled me toward the snake,
the other, away.
Funny, I don't remember which son was going which direction.
Years later,
Luke, Den, and I were motorcycling home
when we spotted a rattler on that same stretch.
We watched it crawl across the shoulder--
or "berm", as we say in central PA--
and   d  i  s  a  p  p  e  a  r   into the vetch
after I had been walking in vetch all day in sandals.
And daily I pass the big rock
where Den once stepped on a lurking rattlesnake.

Warning!


When the dirt road shortcut, DuBec,
is icy
or dusty
or slippery with mud,
I take the highway route,
but if I can drive thirty miles per hour
DuBec is a more time-efficient route
and potholes become the obstacles in a real-life video game.


Today, dust


Often at about 8:15
I am near the highest point on Interstate 80
east of the Mississippi River.
Big trucks of all types exit I-80 here,
and the road becomes busier.
There is the ravine where my grandparents' car landed
when they were struck by one of those trucks in 1984,
and there is the office for the Moshannon State Forest,
the road to the fracking wells,
and the fire danger sign near the entrance to S.B. Elliot Park.
Elliot was a busy place generations ago
when it was filled with family reunions
and baseball games.
My father-in-law,
Walt "Slick" Shaffner,
was one of the best-known ballplayers,
and I imagine him trotting around the bases after a home run.
This area contained the state tree nursery in those days as well,
but now the trees are all grown,
much too big for transplanting.
I follow the semis
and dump trucks
past the road to the sphagnum bog
(Bogs are SUCH cool places!)
down the absolutely straight two-mile stretch
past another nursery,
Johnston's Nursery,
where Paul landscaped during college summers.
It is now closed as well,
and up for sale.
Near the end of the two mile stretch
is a tumbledown fence.
Each April it is undergirded
by hundreds of daffodils
waving in the breeze of each passing truck.



Halfway point. On a clear day, you can see the Boone Mountain ridge










Many years ago in this area, seedlings grew into trees and boys grew into men
A great place off the beaten path

Daily fire probability update
Two mile straight stretch
Anybody want to buy a nursery?
April daffodils


Laurel Run's headwaters sparkle
between the cattails
in the beaver dams.
Laurel Run is dammed downstream
at Parker Dam State Park,
where CCC boys planted trees in the thirties,
where I swam as a girl,
where Baby Luke played in the sand
while Paul ventured out into adventurous knee-deep waters,
and where I have swum cooling laps
after sweltering September first grade days.
Next year there will be no more of that.

Headwaters of Laurel Run
Parker Dam State Park. Entertaining our family with frigid waters for generations


Before descending to the valley,
the trucks ahead of me are commanded to pull over
and I follow different trucks down the mountain,
in third gear so I don't wear out my brakes.
I pass signs for the Moose Grade Road
and Oak Stub Road
and the Lady Jane mine,
bump over the railroad tracks,
pass Morelli's gas station
(Full service! I will miss it.)
and stop at the light.
A semi zooms through
and then it is my turn.

Trucks must stop here...
...so you can follow new and different trucks.
Love these names
Beware of entering trucks

Morelli's. Always cheaper than Minit Mart, and they pump it for you!

My one stoplight

I pass the flashing slow-down-this-is-a-school-zone sign
near the historical marker in Deannie's yard
and turn left into the parking lot.

Penfield, thy days are numbered



Next year I will turn right on 322
and go to an as-yet-unknown city school.
I will visit these familiar mountain stretches
only occasionally.







Saturday, May 13, 2017

Spelling Bee




It's been a busy week.
Instead of relaxing on the mountain every night,
I stayed at school.
This year was Penfield Elementary's turn
to host the DuBois District spelling bees.
Each night,
students from the seven district elementary schools
would compete for individual trophies
as well as for the traveling trophy
awarded to the school with the best overall spellers.
Our third grade teacher, Heidi,
volunteered to be in charge
and I told her that I would help.
While she did the many organizational aspects--
copying lists
and ordering medals
and trophies
and cookies
and lining up helpers,
I made signs and name tags.
While she met with the judges and pronouncer each night,
I gathered the contestants in the library.

Tuesday night was the third grade bee.
I met the kids just inside the door,
sent them for a bathroom break,
verified their names,
reviewed the rules,
drew for slots,
and lined them up.
As they waited,
I reminded them to smile
and to breath deeply if they were nervous.
Most were obviously nervous,
so I also entertained them with witty conversation
and had a ventriloquist conversation with my hand.
They responded with slight smiles,
then went on to spell their little hearts out.
C-o-n-c-h!
E-n-c-y-c-l-o-p-e-d-i-a!
At the end of the night,
a Penfield contestant raised her third place trophy high,
radiantly smiling in her pink fluffy dress.
Yay!


Wednesday night was fourth grade.
I expected them to be nervous as well.
Ha.
There were huge personalities in this group,
semi-humorously trying to intimidate the others.
I had to think how to gain control of the verbal bantering
without seeming autocratic.
"Only one of you will win," I said.
"Let's practice saying 'Congratulations'."
In hindsight,
I should have told them
that their name tag was not a toy
and not to talk onstage.
At the end of the night
I found myself hoping
that I would never be assigned to a fourth grade classroom.




As I prepared for the last competition on Thursday,
I opened my desk drawer to use my chapstick
and picked up a glue stick instead.
Hmmm.
I took this as a sign
to pare back my opening talk.
The fifth graders
were good combinations of smiling and serious,
earnest and funny.
In the opening, practice round,
a boy confidently misspelled "mom".
Thankfully, he did better in later rounds.
One of the kids that I thought would go far was the first one out.
He later confessed that he had done no studying whatsoever.
Among the contestants was D,
a former student from a former school.
D spelled word after word confidently in his newly-deepened voice.
O-b-s-i-d-i-a-n!
And so did the boy beside him.
After countless rounds,
Heidi called the parents up for a consultation
and the spelling bee was declared a tie.
D immediately turned to his co-winner and shook his hand,
then walked to the runner-up and shook his hand as well.
My eyes got a bit misty.
It doesn't really matter who wins a spelling bee--
every device has spell-check these days,
but to see good sportsmanship in young students
is a huge encouragement.
I was so proud of him!
It truly ISN'T whether you win
or lose,
but how you play the game.

I am truly thankful for D
and for his parents
and extended family
who have raised him to be thoughtful
and persistent
and interested
and smart
and funny
and kind
and gracious.
I am thankful for the opportunity
to have been his teacher years ago.
I am thankful
for all the other families
who are raising kids like D,
who have their priorities straight.

Our future is in good hands.






Sunday, March 26, 2017

A Trip to New York City


It's been a week since I left the mountain
and went to New York City
with my friend Jill
on a Fullington "Do Your Own Thing" tour.

Jill and I had asked for NYC advice from friends.
We decided on the Intrepid aircraft carrier
and the 911 Museum.
(It was raining and 33 degrees,
so Central Park
and the High Line
were Right Out.)

On the Intrepid,
the gigantic seldom-used anchor chain in the fo'c'sle
was impressive,
as is the word "fo'c'sle"--
TWO apostrophes!
Some planes had folding wings
like Uncle Ric's Clairton basement toys.
We saw the space shuttle (!!!!) Enterprise
and ate hot dogs in the Intrepid cafeteria.
"For $4.50,
they had better be darned good hot dogs!"
They were.
We saw the intersecting triangles of the new World Trade Center,
the sober footprint pools of the former World Trade Center,
and photographs of thousands of faces of people
who died that morning in September.

The space shuttle Enterprise! Wow!

Our first destination

Jill on the deck of the Intrepid

The new tower disappeared into the sky

Pools rimmed with names now stand where the twin towers once stood


Jill and I have many memories of the things we saw that day,
but is the people that we encountered
that perhaps have made the most lasting memories:

The skid steer driver
clearing the streets of trash and snow
after the Saint Patrick's Day parade
who waved at us as I picked up my first souvenirs,
three new green plastic hats.

The skid steer driver had more work to do


A man told us in an Australian accent
about seeing Sully and his airplane
float down the Hudson River
 right there.

The young guide on the submarine Growler
told us that the cigarette smoke
was so thick
that men had to reach above their heads
to find enough oxygen
to light up again,
and that cinnamon rolls were served at midnight.

One Intrepid veteran
told of a shipmate who had fallen overboard
while taking on supplies
and was found the next year.
ALIVE.
Hmmmmm.
I asked,
"Did he,
perchance,
fall in shortly before midnight
on December 31?"
He grinned.

I asked another veteran,
an ex-marine pilot from the carrier Lexington,
what it was like to land for the first time on a carrier,
and how to know if you need to abort
when something goes wrong.
He replied,
"Did you ever get up in the middle of the night
and stumble to the bathroom
and sit down when the lid is still down?
You know immediately that something is wrong.
Flying is like that..."

The girl at the souvenir shop
told us exactly how to catch a bus,
then gave us all the quarters we'd need.

The crosstown bus driver at the Circle Line stop
explained bus transfers,
then reminded us when to get off.

We remember the old women in wheelchairs
who that same busdriver
loaded oh-so-patiently
and gently strapped in
for a trip of a few blocks.

A woman with long dreads
waited with us at the downtown bus stop.
We wondered together
why those guys on bikes
kept disappearing and returning.

We remember the driver of the downtown bus
who explained a bit about the treeless neighborhoods--
I wonder where the closest squirrel is?
and the passenger who was so enthusiastic
telling us about the neighborhood schools
that she missed her stop.

A woman from Chicago
had just taken her first subway ride
and imparted her new-found wisdom.

The helpful worker at the subway entrance
advised us to get one ticket
for the two of us
and thus save a dollar.

A woman at the subway turnstile
showed me the Goldilocksian way to scan the pass.
"Too fast!"
"Too slow..."
"Ju-u-u-ust right!"
She smiled a goodbye
as I pushed through the gate.

The subway was much faster
but didn't have quite the same camaraderie as the buses.
A earbudded man sat across from us,
his stocking cap  pulled over his eyes.
Was he antisocial?
Probably.
Thought curious about his story,
I respected his silence.
I also restrained my inner cheeky child
from beeping his exposed nose,
much to Jill's relief.

We still had an hour
before the bus to Clearfield would return
so we walked the few blocks to Times Square.
The music blared from Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum
and I danced with a few happy strangers
in the middle of the sidewalk
before moving on.

I took a picture of Jill taking a picture of the Times Square ball


Dances With Strangers--
perhaps a good phrase for a movie title
or an epitaph.
Will Rogers,
who once visited this mountain of mine,
said, "Strangers are just friends we haven't met yet."


Joy in your journey
as you turn strangers into friends,
Sue











Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The House That Den Left


Last night
we celebrated Den's return from the Dominican Republic
with stories of time well-spent with friends
and Daeny's raisin cake.
Den had walked the cake through customs specially
so I could enjoy Daeny's gift.
Delicious!
He then caught me up
on the lives of friends not seen since the late nineties,
when we helped with education seminars.
He told of songs sung enthusiastically
and a presentation
where the Prodigal Son's family was played by monkey puppets
and the tour of Lilo's state-of-the-art school
and gave me the perfect gift:
a colorful necklace made of a water beetle's body.

Daeny's raisin cake

Bible school

Den coaches monkey puppeteers


Then it was my turn.
My story was more like The House That Jack Built:
See this skirt I'm wearing?
This is the skirt that was still in my closet
after I sleepily packed up many bags of clothing to donate
and accidentally gave away some of my favorites
because I may as well clean out my closet
since I had to take everything out of the closet at midnight on Monday
to let the plumber
(who made it up the driveway
because the snowstorm of the decade failed to materialize)
...to let the plumber see to fix the leak
in the closet's frozen pipe
that soaked the carpet padding
that wetted my socks
and thankfully let me know
that there WAS a leak
before it ruined the kitchen ceiling below.
And it only took two hours and a small section of pipe to fix.
The bill is on the table.
I haven't looked at it yet.

Newly cleaned closet

A new pipe elbow at The Scene Of The Crime

The pen that signs checks to the plumber


This morning there was leftover cake. Yay!
As I walked to the jeep
wearing the new water beetle necklace
and other clothing I had NOT accidentally given away,
Den, with happy cat at his ankles,
gave me the traditional daily send-off:
"Thanks for letting me be retired!"
to which I gave my traditional response:
"Thanks for taking care of the house and the bills!"
Except I rrrrrrrreally meant it,
like 287% more than usual.

Water beetle necklace. Cool.


We both have had adventures this week
and are grateful to have our missing parts back.
This week,
may all your adventures be good ones,
but if they're not so good,
may they at least make an interesting story.


PS. Three dollars at Goodwill
should pay for what I accidentally gave away.




Sunday, February 26, 2017

Remembering Pamela Johnson

Pamela Johnson, 1957-2017


You moved to Penfield?
From California?
Why?

I had questions for this gentle visitor, Pamela.
She had chosen our church,
Bethany Covenant in DuBois,
because she had loved her Covenant church in California.
I learned she was a graduate
of Parsons School of Design in Manhattan,
the number one art school in the nation,
then the artist became a psychologist
who left her Mount Lassen wildflowers
and moved to Penfield to be closer to her mom
who lived in the eastern part of the state.

I teach in Penfield,
a tiny town nestled at the foot of the continental divide
and volunteered to take her jeeping
through the mountains surrounding her new home.
We splashed through puddles,
explored abandoned mills,
looked for opsrey at a mountain impoundment,
walked to rock outcroppings,
and watched the beech leaves turn from green to burnt sienna.
She loved her neighbors, the elk.
Pam came to Bible study,
helped decorate the church for Christmas,
sat around the fire with us.

Soon after the move to Pennsylvania,
her mom died
and Pam missed California's scenery and working conditions.
When the weather warmed,
we helped her pack for her move back to California,
to a new town, Alturas.
We kept in touch via computer
and continued to enjoy her artist's viewpoint
in photographs of landscape details
and pastels of western wildflowers.

Frost feathers! A gift for those who observe


Paintbrush. Pam knew both the literal and the botanical


If I am interpreting what I've read correctly,
last week Pamela visited
an artist she had befriended in Alturas
who, unbeknownst to her, was a felon.
Things went wrong
and he turned on her.
We read of her death on Facebook.

If God is a god outside of the realm of time,
perhaps my tearful prayers
that God comfort her on her transition to heaven
made a difference.
She was, and is, His child
and perfect love casts out fear.
Say her name in remembrance:
Pamela Johnson.
Pamela Johnson.
Pamela Johnson.
There is joy in the morning.
But now it is night
and we continue to cry.











Friday, December 23, 2016

A Christmas Carol 2016, Epilogue

 
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This year will be the eightieth first grade performance
of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”.
In 2001
I spray painted pennies gold
and put them in Grandma Maud’s tin box
where they made a wonderful metallic sound when shaken.
A white ostrich plume
picked up in the streets of Nassau
during the Junkanoo celebration
became Bob Cratchit’s quill pen.
The Ghost of Christmas Present
started with a Dollar Store elf hat
but now has a Father Christmas suit
with wreath hat,
fur-collared robe,
and long white beard.
The Ghost of Christmas Past 
now has a velvet medieval gown
and sequined wand.
Jacob Marley now has real chains.
Everybody gets some kind of costume
I have an IKEA bag filled with vests for the boys
and skirts of all sizes for the girls.

Casting is always interesting.
After telling the story and reading through the script
I have kids sign up for LOTS of different parts
so that they almost always get a part they were interested in.
Jacob Marley needs to be uninhibited
and say “Oooooooooooo!” really well.
Tiny Tim often goes to the smallest child
but we have had larger Tiny Tims 
because they were great limpers.
Scrooge needs to be able to remember lines and speak clearly.
One year Scrooge was the shyest girl in the class
but I knew she could handle the part
because one day during silent reading
she surprised the class--
and herself--
by shouting  “LET ME DRIVE THE BUS!!!!”
She was perfect.


Each year there are moments never-to-be-forgotten:
The Ghost of Christmas Present entering with a handspring.
The Ghost of Christmas Future blindly tripping on his long robe.
Scrooge falling off a large table while enthusiastically dancing—
the superintendent was present for that one--
and skirts falling off during Mr Fezziwig’s Christmas dance.
The Ghost of Christmas Past
ad-libbing, “Ebenezer! Think about what you DONE!”

This year I have my smallest class ever
so some kids have multiple parts;
the charity worker is also Mr. Fezziwig and a villager.
(He read his lines the first day in a British accent
but shyness has kicked in
and he hasn’t done it again.)
Bob Cratchit doesn’t know his lines yet,
but has a huge nice-guy smile.
Amy is Tiny Tim
who limps with the aid of a pebble in her shoe.
Joel may be the best Scrooge ever—
he thinks about EVERY LINE
and says it with such expression,
from “Bah! Humbug!”
to “Will the child live?”
to “Thank you Spirits! I will honor Christmas in my heart!”

As we get ready for our December performances
I think about the Scrooges over the years--
boys and girls,
black and white and multiracial--
and I think about how there are no boundaries
on who is cruel
or who is beyond redemption.

We thank God this Christmas season
for the incarnation,
for the baby
who brought the gifts of grace
and mercy
and the ever-present possibility of change.


Tiny Tim's self portrait




Epilogue:
“How did it go?” you ask.
They sang. Loudly.
Apparently Marley’s speech impediment
is worse than I realized
as few people could understand what he actually said,
but his oooooohs and chain-shaking skills
still carried the redemption story along.
The Ghost of Christmas Past got rave reviews
as she delivered her lines clearly 
with a huge smile
in her lovely velvet dress,
her hair poofing all around her sparkly tinsel headpiece.
Scrooge was wonderful, as predicted,
but during the afternoon performance
he had difficulty getting out of his bed
sending the Ghost of Christmas Present into a nervous giggle fit.
(Remember those?
I think they lessen near the end of adolescence.)
The Ghost of Christmas Future doesn’t talk
and didn’t trip,
so that was an easy one.
I saw no fingers in noses,
another reason to be thankful.
There were a few things I would have changed;
hindsight is like that...
“It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.”
Another Dickens quote*
that is true for plays,
for teaching,
for many situations in 2016
and probably 2017 as well.
In 2017,
may the best of times
be frequent
and appreciated
and the worst of times be redeemed
as you feel the breath of God
on your life.
God, bless us, every one!


From our chimney to yours, happy Christmas!



*The opening paragraph of A Tale of Two Cities:
“It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of light,
it was the season of darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair.”












 


Sunday, August 28, 2016

August Thoughts



It's an August Sunday afternoon, hot.
Seeds have brought finches to raid the coneflowers.
The thunder is rumbling on all sides of the mountain
but the rain is holding off.
Soon I may have to rescue my school bag sitting on the driveway
but I'm saving that for an adventurous dash.
School begins Tuesday.
I am still teaching first grade at Penfield,
a tiny school with a forested hill behind it,
a creek across the road,
and an occasional elk on the ballfield.
"Are you ready for school?" people ask.
Yes.
After thirty-some years, I still love to teach.
This year, the toughest thing
may be saying the final line of the pledge of allegiance--
"...with liberty and justice for all."
My wise uncle suggested I say the words as a prayer instead.
My mind will soon be filled with memorizing names
and remembering to bring milkweed for the monarch caterpillars
and studying yet another new math curriculum.
I will unload ten thoughts from August
before they get crowded out.


10.  Lightning
Recently a lightning bolt struck a large oak
near where Paul and Kate were married ten
(ten!)
years ago.
There is now a large crack from a treetop  branch to the ground.
We found oak splinters sixty feet away on our sidewalk.
Lightning strikes are scary cool.



9. Fenwick Beach
Here is our beach advice:
Build a giant sand castle in front of you at the beach
and no one will move in and block your view.
Especially if you build steps down to the surf
and number them.
Then you can also watch the tide come in mathematically.
If you want passersby to stop,
make bridges
and deep doors
and windows that cast shadows
and embellish the castle with beach finds
like feathers
and shells
and seagrass roots.
By the way,
we start our mornings with coffee and donuts
instead of yoga.
And those toned and tanned lifeguards?
They have no idea that someday they may have
a sixty-year-old coffee-and-donut body.

The view we remember
The striped umbrella is ours. We are NOT in the picture






8. Clothing
The perfect all-weather summer wardrobe is a scrub top,
nylon swim trunks,
and Crocs.


7. Rocks
All those rocks
that Denny helped me drag home
from Lake Ontario over the years
are now even more fascinating--
I've just watched Youtube rock stacking videos.
Once you understand the physics,
rock stacking can be addictive.

Fun near the mailbox
Rocks are the new Legos


6.  Cat Changes
Getting rid of a cat can be
both a happy
and sad occasion.
Chai the Indoor Siamese Cat
moved to Mechanicsburg to be Luke's companion.
No more being herded to the food dish!
No more moving the gate at the top of the stairs
each time we go up or down!
We no longer need litter box access--
the basement door can remain closed!
We can travel without finding a cat-sitter!
But we miss the adoration
(Siamese are more like dogs),
the nose bumps,
and making Chai groove when fast music comes on,
Twoey the Outdoor Heinz Cat is filling the gap.

Chai the Cat on his leash in the shade under the rock wagon



Twoey the Cat in the shade of the jeep roof on the hay wagon




 
5. Safety
It's important to finish jobs involving scaffolding before school starts
so that, if you fall,
your wife can call 911.
Sitting around waiting to call 911 is a tough job,
but somebody's got to do it.
And so the cabin chimney is done,
complete with a carabiner at the top
for anyone interested in climbing up to ring the bell on the eave.

Almost finished!



Waiting to call 911 is a tough job




4. The Swimming Hole
Hot afternoons call us to the swimming hole.
En route, we pluck wild blackberries without leaving the jeep.
They are hard little nuggets this year from lack of rain
but still very tasty.
I explore while Den bathes.
Water boatmen,
the ADHD insects of the aquatic world,
prefer the still water found inside rock rings.
Soon some will be living in cups
in the center of first grade tables.
Science is fun.

Hard. Seedy. Delicious.



Look closely and you'll see boatmen's ripples



 

3. Diets
Most of you know that I prefer short hair.
but as motivation to lose ten pounds--
I didn't snore ten pounds ago--
I'm letting my hair grow until the weight comes off.
One friend told me I may die looking like Rapunzel.


2. Police Encounters
I was followed by a city policeman recently
and when I stopped,
he informed me that it was illegal
to drive jeeps with the doors off
but he wouldn't ticket me this time.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou for not giving me a ticket!" I said,
and drove off, happy.
For about a mile.
Then the Libertarian in me got irate.
WHY should some law tell me I need doors?
Bicyclists don't have doors!
Motorcyclists don't have doors!
Doorless? Roofless?
That's summmmmmmmmmer!
I walked into the house complaining to Den,
who called the PA State Police.
It turns our we DON'T need doors.
If I get ticketed, I'm fighting it.

It's SUMMER!




1. August Olympics
While watching the O's,
we thought of Chariots of Fire,
the movie about runner/missionary Eric Liddell
who competed in the 1924 Olympics.
"I believe God made me for a purpose, 
but he also made me fast.
And when I run, I feel His pleasure."
We are not Olympians,
but God knew that when he made us.
"I believe God made me for a purpose,
but he also made me... enthusiastic?
And when I...
Build a castle?
Play with rocks?
Construct a chimney?
Taste warm blackberries?
Sing?
Write?
Dance?
Tend bees?
Bake?
Knit?
Paint?
Change a diaper?
Feed a cat?
Teach?
... I feel His pleasure."

As August fades,
we hope you use what is truly you
to feel God's pleasure.